By Kelli Foulkrod, MS, LPA, RYT
This title seems to be a big contradiction; however, I’m writing today to shed some light on a concept I think more new moms need to hear.
Yes, when we become a mother, and we have a new baby there is absolutely a lot we have gained. There is a new human being living under your roof, family and friends visiting, and lots and lots of baby stuff!
In my work with new moms, though, what I hear over and over again is, “why do I feel so empty?” There is a myth out there, perpetuated by our media, which sells us the idea that motherhood is bliss. That in bringing new life into the world, we will be happy, the perfect mother, and finally feel full and fulfilled as if the new baby was the missing piece to make our life complete.
It seems that what our culture really lacks for motherhood is more ritual for these HUGE transitions in a woman’s life. Yes, we have baby showers, but the festivities tend to center around the baby. We need more ceremony to honor the changes a woman goes through when she transforms from a maiden to a mother.
So let’s talk about the loss that comes with motherhood:
When we take the time to honor and grieve what we have lost in becoming a mother, the path to motherhood begins to feel much lighter. When we can sit with another woman who can truly empathize and hold how hard it is to let go of our old lives, especially when this is the new life we always wanted, we bring healing to our new role. We all need a hand to hold as we walk down the crooked path of motherhood, so remember to make space for the feelings of loss as you embark on incorporating all that you have gained in becoming a mama.
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